According to Hitchcock’s New and Complete Analysis of the Holy Bible, Bethany roughly means “the house of song; the house of affliction.” The top definition for Bethany according to Urban Dictionary is, “She must be a parking ticket because shes [sic] got ‘fine”‘ writin [sic] all over her.”

While neither definition quite accurately captures me, I may fall somewhere on the spectrum of songs/affliction/parking tickets.

What a world.